The Girl In The Coffee Shop

Posted by Steph on Saturday in Coffee Books | Short Link

The Girl In The Coffee Shop

Car chases, romantic interludes and breathtaking moments are not the norm for Gertrude, a single, chubby college student. But as she snacks on strawberry muffins, scones, and three Frappaccinos she watches a couple locking lips in a coffee shop.

As she studies them, her journalistic mind goes into overdrive. There is no circle of untanned skin where a wedding ring should be. They must be having an affair. Hoping to break her first “Cheaters-meets-TMZ” news story, she decides to follo

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3 Comments

  • Ripley says:
    41 of 45 people found the following review helpful:
    3.0 out of 5 stars
    Approached with trepidation, but the story won me over, June 28, 2011
    By 
    Ripley
    This review is from: The Girl In The Coffee Shop (Kindle Edition)

    The Girl in the Coffee Shop, by Caedem Marquez, is a short, surprising story about a chubby college student turned journalist.

    I received this story as a review copy. Having read the blurb, I must admit that I approached this story with a bit of trepidation. I am a plus sized woman, so the description of Gertrude as chubby followed quickly by a list of her snack of “strawberry muffins, scones, and three Frappaccinos” seemed to be playing to the stereotypes of fat chick who eats too much junk food. And, yes, there were several description references that made me squirm, but the author at least let the main character handle them with a sense of humor.

    Gertrude is sitting in a coffee shop attempting to write her college thesis on “Expanding Christian News in a Modern Internet World.” Her Christian sensibilities are shocked when she sees a couple who are obviously having an affair. Gertrude’s reaction is believably sophomoric, and she spends perhaps too much time saying “gross,” “yuck,” and “eww,” but she gradually convinces herself that this is her path to news-anchor fame. “I could follow them. I could write my first major news story, I could put it on the web and get a million hits on Youtube. The people at church would applaud me for stopping such evil.”

    I admit that I wasn’t at all comfortable with where this was going, particularly in regard to the main character’s religious presumptions, but there really are people out there like that. I kept reading.

    Gertrude takes off after the couple. I enjoyed the description that started the chase. “The Moped wheels scream to life as they burn rubber. Okay, okay, they don’t scream, rather they sputter and protest but I do smell burnt rubber. I can’t tell if the scent stems from my over-worked tires or the tire burning factory…. I prefer the former as the cause of the smell, after all, this is my first real-life chase.”

    There were a few run-on sentences exacerbated by punctuation choices that left me mentally gasping for breath as I raced through them. Most readers probably won’t notice as they get caught up in the author’s descriptions. The pacing is good. I was actually almost starting to like Gertrude. I could see some hope for her to grow up a little through the story, and I liked where the plot was going. Then it ended.

    I was not prepared for the abrupt conclusion. I was only 57 percent through the Kindle document (Location 266 of 556) when I reached the end of the story. I see now that the Kindle version lists the inclusion of an excerpt from Caedem’s upcoming book, but there is no such note on the Smashwords version. I’m trying not to hold that against the The Girl in the Coffee Shop, but I’m still disappointed.

    Would I recommend this story? Yes, I think that I would, though with the above-noted reservations. Sometimes it is good to be taken out of your comfort zone. This little nibble of a story was a fun way to pass part of my lunch break. The real reason I liked the story is in the resolution, but I won’t spoil that for you. You’ll have to read it yourself.

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  • R. Maslow says:
    16 of 17 people found the following review helpful:
    1.0 out of 5 stars
    Fluffy boring and ultimately silly ridiculous ending of incredulous nonsense, August 12, 2011
    By 
    R. Maslow (Newark, DE) –
    (REAL NAME)
      

    Amazon Verified Purchase(What’s this?)
    This review is from: The Girl In The Coffee Shop (Kindle Edition)

    Why does this girl care about the 2 people in the coffee shop? Why does absolutely everything in this book have to make her think of or remark about food, even if she is chubby? Why does being Christian in this book equate to being a self righteous snob? Why did I even bother reading this waste of digital space even if it is free?

    The answers to all of these questions are: There is no reason.

    Avoid making my mistake. I read the primary review and thought maybe it would be validated by the ending. Instead, I wanted to whack someone over the head with a reality bat. Idiocy and horrible writing should not be rewarded.

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  • Jeannie L says:
    7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:
    1.0 out of 5 stars
    Waste of time, August 5, 2011
    By 
    Jeannie L (Farmington, MI United States) –
    Amazon Verified Purchase(What’s this?)
    This review is from: The Girl In The Coffee Shop (Kindle Edition)

    Just can’t understand the 4 and 5 star reviews here. Seems to be a self-published, untrained author, due to the grammatical errors, lack of clear story line and abrupt ending without conclusion. Also a judgmental story with little reason for the conclusions that are drawn.

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